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The Axis of Awesome
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Phone$
It was 2008 when I got my first phone
White box, white case all glass and chrome
All that power in the palm of my hand
And in that one moment
How could I understand
What this meant, where this went
Now it's a few years on
And it goes on and on and on
Never better for the setter of trends
From a chrome and glass chapel
Since I had my first gen,
You better believe it was Apple.
Ring tones, App Store, all in my pocket
Hard case, I rock it
While up jumps the stock it
still breaks when I drop it
and I wonder why.
So I get a new phone
it gets dropped in a well
and I'm doing the rice trick
the silica gel
and I wonder as well,
why the water's so deadly
You make millions of phones
Why can't you protect me?
This is a call out
for the people that grapple
With each generation
Those children of Apple
Who stand at the gates
with their fistfull of dollars
to give to Steve Jobs
Yo, hear him holler
Welcome to a brave new world
so take your iPhone 3 and throw it out
This phone is gonna change the world
You need an iPhone 4
You need it now
Return to the Mac store 2010
Now it's two years on
and I'm here again
Looking at a phone
that looks just like mine
and it seems the same
but I've been told to buy
So I take it home, unpack it
without questioning it
I try to get it started
but the SIM card won't fit
It keeps hitting the rim
and it seems like it's smaller
so I get a new SIM
and I make a call
But reception is patchy
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there's problems with hearing
I can't get a signal
Cause my thumb's interfering
and to top it all off
there's one final disgrace
the damn iPhone 4 just won't fit in its case
Welcome to a brave new world
so take your iPhone 4 and throw it out
This phone is gonna change the world
You need an iPhone 5
You need it now
New year, new phone
got a new plan to get it
and it's still not waterproof
So you better not wet it
I hear Sony's making phones
that you can use underwater
and the Samsung Galaxy
is much cheaper to order
But I'm a slave to the iPhone
it's got all my apps
though it does delete some
where the fuck's Google maps?
I despise all the lies
that your genii tell me
This five is resized
for the case that you'll sell me
It's disgraceful and wasteful
to throw out my cables
you made them apple
why am I now unable
to lock my phone to a clock
with a 30 pin dock
this shit ain't third party
this is all Apple stock
But the Apple line's tightening
The new king is lightning
I'm holding the fruit
While the serpent is biting
And I find it so frightening
it's fueling my fears
that like every Mac addict
I'll be back
In two years
Welcome to a brave new world
so take your iPhone 5 and throw it out
This phone is gonna change the world
You need an iPhone 6
You need it now
I need it... Wow
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