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The Handsome Family

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The Handsome Family

The Bottomless Hole

My name, I don't remember
Though I hail from Ohio
I had a wife and children
Good tires on my car
What took me from my home
And put me in the Earth
Was the mouth of a deep dark hole
I found behind my barn

We'd been filling it with garbage
As long as you could count
Kitchen scraps and dead cows
Tractors broken down
But never did I hear one thing hit the ground
And slowly I came to fear
That this was a bottomless hole

I went out behind the barn
And stared down in that hole
Late into the evening
My mind would not let go
So I got out my ropes and a rusty clawfoot tub
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And I rigged myself a chariot
To ride down in that hole

My wife, she did help me
She fed me down the ropes
And then I sank away
From the surface of this world
When the last rope pulled tight
I had not reached the end
And in anger, I swung there
Down in that dark abyss

So I got out my knife
I told my wife goodbye
I cut loose from the ropes
And fell on down that hole
And still I'm there falling
Down in this evil pit
But until I hit the bottom
I won't believe it's bottomless