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As Animals Eat My Insides
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Sinchak's Song
Why couldn't I perceive. That you were going to leave.
There must have been a scene. Where you no longer felt at all.
If only I achieved. Union with you like a true friend.
Maybe then I'd have seen.
The weight that was on your heart, and in your dark mind.
You chose to close it up and keep it all inside.
Yourself not show it. That within you were crying, dying, trying
To look like you had a level head and could carry on alone.
But really I knew. Your heart just longed to be home.
It's inexcusable that I ignored your pleas.
I'm sorry that I wasn't there when you needed me.
Why couldn't I perceive. That you were going to leave.
There must have been a scene. Where you no longer felt at all.
If only I achieved. Union with you like a true friend.
Maybe then I'd have seen.
The weight that was on your heart, and in your dark mind.
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You chose to close it up and keep it all inside.
Still a lot of it was your fault and you know that don't you?
FUCK!
Escaping through drugs and sex you denied reality withdrew from us.
I know it's not right to do. I had my own weight to attend to.
Still that's no fucking excuse. I still should have been there to helpyou.
The weight of your death is crushing my chest. I'm still a part toblame in this whole mess.
I know now what you did was not ever intentional. A lapse of feelingonly thinking about letting go.
I understand you felt unloved and uncared for. I just wish I couldhave gotten in one more.
Word of kindness. Get through to you and end all the madness insideyou. I regret holding back.
My lungs and truth. But now I realize there was nothing I could do.
I'm glad that we met in this life. You taught me many lessons in yourown light.
I'm forever thankful for this. Even though my heart will forever beamiss.
(I just wish I had one more day. To say all I never got to say.)x4
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