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Bruce Low
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Grass Is Always Greener
i'll bet your friends are all celebrities.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you can make a pot roast.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you brown an onion.
is your picture up at sardi's?
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you can clean an oven.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you get the e-z off!
ah, the grass is always greener
on somebody else's estate.
ah, the meat is always leaner
on somebody else's dinner plate.
but you can sew a button on.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
bet you go to discos.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you take a valium!
i can see you planning picnics.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
eating at the white house!
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first they pass the jelly beans.
ah, the grass is always greener
on somebody else's front lawn.
ah, somebody else's wiener
always has a lot more relish on.
you saved the whales in new foundland.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you can run a household.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you have a breakdown.
you're always in the magazines.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you can hold a husband.
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that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
there's more to life than husbands.
i could use a husband
you can have my husband.
i've already had your husband!
ah, it makes you kind of teary.
ah, think about it, dearie.
the grass is always greener
in someone else's yard.
it's hard!
i'll bet you always ride in limousines.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you've got time for luncheons.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you sell the tupperware.
the public wants your autograph.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you raised a teenaged daughter.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you find her diaphragm.
ah, the grass is always greener
where some other tenant pays rent.
ah, the teeth are always cleaner
in somebody else's polident.
do you know who your neighbors are?
that's wonderul!
what's so wonderful?
you know rona barrett.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
first you keep your mouth shut.
i bet you squeeze the charmin.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
you can make headline.
that's wonderful!
what's so wonderful?
i'd rather have a pot roast.
so go brown an onion.
and have some peace and quiet.
you've already had my husband!
ah, everyone's a victim
of this ducky little dictum:
the grass is always greener
in somebody else's yard.
it's hard!
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