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Jackie Leven

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Jackie Leven

Boy Trapped in a Man

Your words they kill me
as I stumble out the door
you shout get out of here
and don't come back no more
outside in sunlight
I pretend there's nothing wrong
but I am heading
for the bar and something strong

I am a boy trapped in a man's life
I hurt my kids
and I hurt my wife
where the hell do we go from here?
if I don't know where here is
how can I get to there?

If you had seen me
singing out my tribal song
you would appreciate
that sometimes I am strong
but back in that house
there is blood upon the walls
and twisted mirrors follow me
right down the hall

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I am a boy trapped in a man's life
I hurt my kids
and I hurt my wife
where the hell do we go from here?
if I don't know where here is
how can I get to there?

One sullen evening
I am weeping through the scheme
one memory comes back inside me
like a dream
my standing mother
strokes my sitting father's hair
then looks into his eyes
and sees there's no-one there

I am a boy trapped in a man's life
I hurt my kids
and I hurt my wife
where the hell do we go from here?
if I don't know where here is
how can I get to there?