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A Halo Called Fred
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Hugs Are Better Than Drugs
But nobody loves me so I'll smoke some crack. I can't turn to my family, 'cause you say family values are what they lack. You don't want me to hurt myself, so you take my only source of pleasure away. I can't get it anywhere, so I'll have to hurt myself a more pleasant way. I still get some hallucinatory effects each time I bash large bricks against my head. So if hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.
The man came up to me and said, 'You un-American piece of shit, we're given laws to live by, and you're gonna have to deal with it. And if you don't, I'm very sure you don't deserve to live then!'
'So give me drugs,' I said. But alas! This fellow would not give them.
Hugs are better than drugs, but I don't have the cash for either one. I'll try to scrape up the money, but I'll still feel like shit by the time I'm done. You say your religion will make me feel loved, but I think that right now it's just as well. If what you try to tell me is true, than everybody else I know will just wind up in Hell. There's still the great enlightenment I get each time I bash large bricks against my head. So If hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.
The man came up to me and said, 'You nasty vile stream of ooze, you don't deserve a happy life unless you learn to pay your dues. And if you don't know what I mean, you don't deserve to live then!'
'So give me drugs,' I said. But alas! this fellow would not give them.
Hugs are better than drugs, or so you've been saying all along. I'd have no way of knowing, but something about it seems a little wrong. You don't want me to hurt myself, so you take my only source of pleasure away. I can't get it anywhere, so I'll have to kill myself a more painful way. And I suppose if all else fails, I can keep on bashing bricks against my head. So If hugs are better than drugs, I guess I'm better off dead.
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