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Ha the Unclear



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Ha the Unclear

85

I'm 85 now going on who knows if
Three kids, two of them still alive
I've hated my husband now for forty years
God, I hope he goes first
It'll be sad to bury him but I won't miss the snide remarks
I want to choose the TV station

He's getting tired now
I see him fading
But I feel I'm fading too
My goal's to outlive him

I think back to that house we bought on Hood Street
I was having second thoughts back then
The price of housing was so good he said
I envisioned knick knacks on the mantelpiece
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One time he got so drunk
Threw one on the fire
That one my mother gave me
It reminded him that he was hated
And fuck yes, he was hated

But we stuck it out
Because the church told us to
I wish that my faith had waned so much sooner
I had plans of my own, wanted someone to love me
But now I'm too old to learn how to drive away

In that shitty old car outside