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insignificant other



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insignificant other

thank you

it hit me hard when I realized that all that we had was real
and though I'm sad that it's gone
it just feels so nice to just feel
its so hard to be told by the one you love that 'I'm no good for you'
when you told me that I deserve more stability than you could give me
well, i already knew
and you said i didn't deserve what you put me through
and I want to believe you
but it isn't enough and I have slowly become sure that it was something I did or what I did not do
and I'm not sad but I'm not happy
and I'm not crushed but I'm not relieved
i think I had built you up in my head as a work of fiction
but now you are free
all I want is to set you free
but I can't help but hope for now that you'll come back to me
and maybe we'll see each other at some park one afternoon
and so much time will have passed I'll struggle at first to recognize you
and we will settle on the fact that we had met in a past life
and we will start again and maybe this time we'll get the ending right

but for now I am just happy knowing you're doing okay
I cannot wait to talk to you in a perfectly, pleasantly, platonic, harmless way
after all this time still all I want is to take away your pain
and I am learning that that's enough for me
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I'm feeling whole again
so let me build you a nest
let me hold you in my hand
let me wrap you up I swear I'm strong enough
and I finally understand
let me give you the best
let me give you all I can
please take everything I can give
I don't need much
and you can have the rest
so let me build you a nest

he said I love your mess

and I know you did everything you could
I know you expended your capacity
I know that now it took long enough
but now it's clear to me
all I can do is thank you
I know you saw what I was worth
and I am learning to accept what I deserve
I am learning to accept what I deserve