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The Tragic Tantrum
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Diego and Arlene
Oooh...
There once was a man named Diego
And a girl named Arlene
Who lived on a street
A beautiful street
And I saw them and sang
Oooh...
Eventually they both got married
And they moved on my street
They had lots of kids
The most beautiful kids
And I saw them and sang
Oooh...
But I try and I try
But I can't relate can't relate
I can't relate
To the way they relate
And I try but I'm lost
I'll never relate
Oh Diego, Arlene
I just can't relate
Diego wears crisp-collared polos
Arlene is a doll
The kids are all playing red rover
And they just bought a dog
Arlene looks nice in canary
The kids look like angels asleep
I'd like to get inside their psyche
But I'm across the street
And I try and I try
But I can't relate can't relate
I can't relate
To the way they relate
And I try but I'm lost
I'll never relate
Oh Diego, Arlene
I just can't relate
Oooh ah!
Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye
Come on now!
Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye
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Oooh up up!
Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye
Everybody one more time!
Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye
I just bought a crisp-collared polo
My new dog's a jewel
I want the kids to all come over
Come swim in my pool
I'll build you a pool
I'll dig it just for you Diego, Arlene
I just bought a crisp-collared polo
My new dog's a jewel
I want the kids to all come over
Come swim in my pool
I'll build you a pool
I'll dig it just for you Diego, Arlene
And your kids too!
Diego gets an invitation
For his family and his dog
They're coming on Sunday for swimming
And I'm digging up a hole
The family arrives here at noon sharp
I show them my pool
They ask me 'Where is all the water?'
I tell them 'It's new.'
But go ahead test the dimensions
Everyone get inside
I'd like to take your family portrait
And don't forget the dog
the caterpillar that I rented is waiting
Diego, Arlene
So I get out my cat
And I race to the scene
And I grab all the dirt
Oh Diego, Arlene
I can't relate can't relate
Goodbye! I can't relate
You must say goodbye
I just can't relate
And now I sing
Oooh...
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