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Lisa Howard
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I Never Wanted This
Something old, something new.
Something borrowed, something blue.
Something blue-ish.
Well, it's true-ish if you're Jewish at 32...
ish.
You've been waiting for this day!
Pantyhose, damn!
On this day of celebration where you've barely slept a wink.
On this day of pure elation where you sure could use a drink.
On this day of aggravation when you think...
I never wanted this.
The creamy silk and satin.
I never wanted this.
The flowers and the fuss.
What's the use of getting married?
Forget the wedding cake!
And cook the rice you plan to throw, 'cause you're making a mistake!
Do we pray and we fight for a wedding that is joyous?
For a day dressed in white that might quite possibly destroy us.
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So you dream of those vows you'll say, while you're throwing your life away, all of this for a steady lay.
I never wanted this!
Who wants all this attention?
I never wanted this.
Make a noose and tie the knot.
I never wanted to get married, never wanted to get married, never wanted to get married!
JUDY: Jenny, take that veil off.
You'll stretch it out so much it won't fit your sister.
JENNY: And I'm not.
Who am I kidding?
I wouldn't fit into this if I was cremated.
JUDY: Jenny, I forgot- did you cancel the panini station?
JENNY: Yes.
JUDY: Well, call them back!
What kind of wedding doesn't have a panini station?
People will talk!
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