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Hamish Imlach
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The 37 Bus
As I was on the upper deck of a 37 bus
I saw big jimmy swillin' wine and kickin' up a fuss
The driver stoapped the bus right sharp
And he belted up the sterr
He says I'll have to throw ye aff the bus
If ye gie us ony merr
Aw pal nae offence big jimmy said
If ye knew whit a've been through
Ye widnae say such things tae me
Or blame a man that's fu'
Ah loast a pile oan the dugs the night
Ahl have ye for to know
Awe ma wages doon the stank
Fir a dug that widnae go
The driver said he couldnae gie monkeys fk
Or gie a tinker's curse
Yer swearin' and yer bawlin'
Is distressin' awe the bus
Ave heard jist aboot enough o' ye
A lot mair than ah need
If ye don't haud that big tongue o' your's
Ahl shove it doon yer heid
Big jimmy smiled and picked his nose
And he finished aff his wine
He said wit you've jist said tae me
His went right oot o' line
Ave finished aff 15 like ye
Jist tae get intae a fight
So get doon oan yer knees and pray fir help
Ya durty little Shte
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The bus wis in an uproar
As people goat aff furst
Wi' good old Glasgow chivalry
The women and children last
They gathered roon an shouted oot
Fir they didnae like big jim
Come on driver sink the boot
Get stuck right intae him
Noo the driver smiled and he waded in
Kickin' an' swingin' blows
Till he finally goat jims big squerr heid
Planted oan his nose
Jim's knee came up an' e's fist came doon
Til the driver moved nae mair
So e' jumped a couple o' times oan e's heid
As he twitched oan ra flerr
At this a hunner polismen came up tae capture jim
In three's an fours an' dozens therr
He laid them oot roon him
Till finally they soarted im' oot
When the army brought a tank
But ah coontid 40 polis hats floatin' doon the stank
So if yer ever oan the upper deck
O' a 37 bus an' ye see big jimmy swillin' wine
An' kickin' up a fuss
Don't try tae apprehend him or put big jimmy aff
Cause the whole o' the Glesga polis force
Still cannae afford the staff
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