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Hot Mikado - Original Cast
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I've Got a Little List
If someday it should happen
That a victim must be found,
I've got a little list.
I've got a little list.
Of society offenders
Who might well be underground
Who never would be missed.
Who never would be missed.
There's the devotees of movie stars who
write for autographs.
All people who have flabby hands
and irritating laughs.
(Name please).
All children who play instruments
But always play them flat.
(I hate that.)
All people who when shaking hands
Shake hands with you like that.
(See what I mean? Hurts, doesn't it?
It's terrible. They grab on, they hold on,
They squeeze, they won't let go.
It's unforgiveable.)
And Billy Sunday, Reverand Ike,
And all Revivalists.
They'll none of them be missed.
Amen!
They'll none of them be missed.
He's got 'em on the list.
He's got 'em on the list.
And they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.
There's the ragtime seranader,
and the others of his race.
The piano organist.
I've got 'em on the list.
All people who eat peppermint
(He's got a gun!)
And puff it in your face.
They never would be missed.
They never would be missed.
The woman on the party line who's
'Always on the phone.'
The recluse, who like Garbo
Simply 'vants to be alone.'
The Bobby Sox fanatics
Who when Frank Sinatra's heard
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Will faint and shriek and gurgle
So you cannot hear a word.
And that singular absurdity:
The swingtime pianist.
(Shh! Ahh!)
I don't think he'll be missed.
I'm sure he won't be missed!
He's got him on the list.
La la!
He's got him on the list.
I do!
And I don't think he'll be missed.
Uh uh!
I'm sure he'll not be missed.
There's the liberal excess
of Franklin Delano and wife.
That avid New Dealist.
I've got her on the list.
All funny fellows, comic men,
And clowns of private life.
They never would be missed.
They never would be missed.
Americans, when traveling,
Who are such adventurous folk.
They only order hamburgers
And wash them down with coke.
(Hiccup Pardonne-moi.)
I have more empty spaces left,
But what is one to do?
The task of filling up the list,
I'd rather leave to you.
But it doesn't really matter
Whom you put upon the list.
For they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.
You may put 'em on the list.
(You may)
You may put 'em on the list.
(Yeah ha)
And they'll none of them be missed.
They'll none of them be missed.
Little list!
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