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Awkward Kids feat. Michelle Glavan, Christiann Castellanos & Dana Pacheco
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TV Moms
Here's a story, I'm Carol fuckin' Brady
A birdie told me you're havin' a baby
Got a fuck load of kids, but they all ain't mine
Just hire a maid and you'll be fine
Her name is Alice, and she's my bitch
She's in the kitchen, makin' me a sandwich
She cooks my food and cleans my shit
She'll even wash my naughty bits
My best advice to be a mom
Just chill at home and date your son
No ball in the house, in bed by seven
Potato sack racin' is my heaven
I got Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter and Bobby
I adopt more kids than Angelina Jolie
Got a family of eight and three bedroom
I run this bitch like a fuckin' commune
This can't be real, there's something wrong
I'm way too young to be a mom
I thought we had protection on
I can't believe I'm pregnant
This TV mom has got your back
With my advice you'll stay on track
You'll never get your figure back
Get over it, you're pregnant
I'm married with children, I'm Peggy Bundy
Listen closely to the Queen B of wifies
You're havin' a kid, your life is done
So sit on the couch and eat your Bon Bons
I refuse to clean or take a job
I'm married to a mutha fuckin' slob
Al, come have a seat
We won't have sex, but you can rub my feet
See, you don't need a G.E.D. when you can steal money
From yo-yo-yo, yo family
The original MILF, makin' all the boys drool
I do what I want, that's the real Bundy rule
I'm hittin' up nudie bars, tossin' that cash
I'm proud to be American white trash
Yeah, I get to stay at home, watch Oprah all day
Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com
They should make a Real Housewife show about me
This can't be real, there's something wrong
I'm way too young to be a mom
I thought we had protection on
I can't believe I'm pregnant
This TV mom has got your back
With my advice you'll stay on track
You'll never get your figure back
Get over it, you're pregnant
Eat my shorts, I'm fuckin' Marge Simpson
Big pimpin' from Springfield
With a gambling addiction
I'm here to give guidance and teach you a lesson
Shut your legs and your mouth
While I put my two cents in
Happy homemaker, proud mother of three
I keep Bart in check and put up with Homey
I'm the best TV mom, my parentin's insane
Been over twenty years and my kids haven't aged
Cook and clean, keep the fridge stocked with beer
So when your husband passes out
You can drown all your tears
Oh this kid's a bastard, well shit, I dunno
Better find a decent man and stop being a ho
Don't believe what I say? I'm the real McCoy
I sell billions of toys and I posed for Playboy
At the Quick-E-Mart, people stop and they stare
My beehive hair, yup, same color down there
This can't be real, there's something wrong
I'm way too young to be a mom
I thought we had protection on
I can't believe I'm pregnant
This TV mom has got your back
With my advice you'll stay on track
You'll never get your figure back
Get over it, you're pregnant
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